Sing whatever you have to sing.

The title comes from the song Sway by the Kooks. The whole line was “Sing whatever you have to sing, to get it out and not become a recluse about your house. Come out!” I like it. Reminds me of wanting to get out of the house during the Spring, and singing around my house when no one’s home.

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There has been so much on my mind the past few days. With every step I took, I could think of something else I had to do. And now it’s all over [for the most part]. EVERYTHING was crammed into the first three days of school after Spring break. Why? WHY?

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Let me tell you about my theory. Somewhere underground, there is a secret room. You have to walk through a complicated maze to get there and then use a secret password [furlorembrazzletastic] to get into it. The only people allowed into the room are professors. They do a fingerprint analysis when you enter, just to make sure. So at a secret time on a secret day every week, all of the members of the Professors For Torturing Students Society [they like to go by PFTSS] gather in the secret underground room. All of the members, garbed in all black, sit in a circle [indian style] on the floor. They commence the meeting by saying the pledge ["I promise to be a faithful member of PFTSS for as long as I live... blahdee blah blah blah...]. Next, they go around in a circle and tell all the ways they have made life harder for their students this week. After each member presents, the group claps and shouts cheers of approval. The members spend the rest of the meeting having “evil laugh” contests [winner gets a black silk cloak  with a hood and some M&M's] and choosing days to bomb their students with 283754328 assignments, projects, and tests. Everyone should know, as soon as I find this room, I will do everything I can to thwart PFTSS’s efforts. Don’t worry, I’m fighting tirelessly for the cause. I will save college students everywhere.

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Just kidding, of course. I guess having 98475 tests in one day is just a coincidence.    I got really creative and a little angsty/sarcastic for a little while there. But really, some days I have to wonder if PFTSS really exists.

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So I have this overwhelming urge to play laser tag. Why, you ask? I have no idea. I just want some loud music, some running around, and some fun. My dad gets all into it and develops stragegies and stuff…

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Speaking of loud music… I’ve been going on these weird kicks where I LOVE a song to death. I mean really LOVE it. A single song makes up 90% of what I listen to for about one week. Three weeks ago it was Thinking of You by Katy Perry. Two weeks ago it was Halo by Beyonce. Last week it was Poker Face by Lady Gaga. And this week it’s Ain’t Gonna Lose You by Brett Dennen. Most people would prefer to mix it up a little, maybe even enjoy hearing two or more songs per week… but not me. Haha.

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Something I’ve been thinking about… every day I have a moment or two of really missing my grandparents. It’s been almost three years since I last spoke to them. I thought time was supposed to make things better. Really, it’s just sort of smoothing things over. I don’t really like to talk about my grandparents, because I get all sad. But by not talking about them, I feel like I’m forgetting what they were like. There are just SO MANY things I wish I could have asked them. I wish I knew why my grandmother waited so long for my grandfather while he was in WWII. They were barely dating when he left for Europe. I had a dream that my grandmother described her wedding to me… and I can’t help but feel sad that I’ll never actually have that conversation with her. The year that they died, my English teacher said to my class that grief is selfish, and that you aren’t doing the deceased a favor by missing them. By feeling bad about their passing, you are just thinking about yourself, and all the ways you were influenced by the loss. That whole thing REALLY pissed me off that day. I got tears in my eyes when he said it. It was as if he had never lost anyone before. I still think that was a stupid thing to say, but now I wonder if all of my grief is a little selfish. I’m trying to believe that it’s not. I had two great people in my life, and I was lucky for that. Who wouldn’t grieve over losing something so wonderful? … I drive myself crazy thinking about this and wondering if I should be “over this” by now. People in my family don’t seem to be feeling this loss like I do. Or they hide it better than I do.

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Sorry to make you depressed.  :(  I had to vent a little.  

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On to more cheerful things. I’m doing the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life next month! It’s a 12 hour event to raise awareness for cancer. I’m definitely excited to participate [my team is making t-shirts and everything!!], but… it’s 12 hours of walking. But I can do this because it is for a good cause [stare at self in mirror and repeat 10 times daily]. I’ve only raised $30 so far, and my goal is $100. So I need to get crackin. At the meetings, they tell us that <insert big number> people get cancer everyday, and that you never know how close to home it will strike. I keep that in mind as part of my motivation.

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We learned about clairvoyance and ESP and all kinds of cool stuff today in psychology. It’s too bad I can’t move objects with sheer mind-power. I mean, that would be a freakin awesome trick. Like, “Hey, watch me while I use my mind to throw my sister’s stupid/overused cellphone in the toilet!” And if I could just figure out how this telepathy thing works, it would totally make gossiping easier. Haaaaha.

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Picture time! I know this is your favorite part– when I shut up and you get to look at pretty pictures. Don’t worry, it’s my favorite part too.

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Some websites I’m following:

http://365daysofgoodness.com - awesome woman who is trying to do a good deed every single day of 2009; she posts about what she’s done, how other people can help, little tidbits of info, and other cool stuff

http://nacedesign.com/blog/ - Rosie and Aaron [awesome couple] post pictures and how-to’s dealing with photography and editing photographs; their Flickr accounts are pretty cool too

http://twilightguy.com – Kaleb posts about every chapter he reads, and he also puts up these very amusing little pictures [and hilarious captions]

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Have a fantastic morning, rockin’ day, or radical night!

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::Edit::

Don’t ask me why I had to put a little “-” between every paragraph to maintain the space. This post just wasn’t being cooperative. AT ALL.